


The Cost of Nirvana

by silentsilver2267



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Finds Out, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Canon Era, Drabble, Magic, Merlin's Magic Revealed, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 06:47:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2538191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentsilver2267/pseuds/silentsilver2267
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An old piece of fic. </p><p>Wild magic calls to Merlin, offering him nirvana. Will he answer the call and leave Arthur?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cost of Nirvana

There's a storm coming.   
You can feel it coiling in your belly.   
Your magic is erratic, chaotic. It yearns for this.   
You're distracted. Telling terrible lies that Arthur doesn't buy.   
Your skins charged, electric. Magic out of control.   
Every time you turn round Arthur is watching.   
He knows. You're sure of it.   
Veins thrum with energy.   
The storms closing in.   
Mumble an excuse and run  
run  
_run._  
Out of Camelot.   
Through the forest.  
_Hurry._  
To the clearing.   
Hurry  
hurry  
_hurry._  
Shuck shirt and shoes.  
Stop.  
  
Stand there face up, mouth open and taste the magic in the rain drops.   
Watch the lightning split the sky.   
The very air crackles with wild magic. Pure, unadulterated power.   
It calls to you. Wraps itself around you. Caresses your skin. Sings to you.   
And your own magic sings back. Your power thrums through you veins.   
Pushes, Pulses. Slips tendrils out to meet and merge with that around it.  
  
And you're gone.   
Nowhere and everywhere.   
One with the earth.   
Racing through the sky.   
Shooting up the roots of trees.   
Falling leaf.   
Hatching chick.   
Crackling fire.   
Flame.   
You're in everything and everything's in you.   
No hiding  
no lying  
no fear.   
Just is  
am  
are.   
Magic is life.   
Death.   
The changing of seasons.   
Magic  _is._    
Uther doesn't understand.   
Will never understand.   
Arrogant Uther.   
Foolish Uther.   
Cruel Uther.   
Uther.   
Uther.   
Uther.  
  
_Arthur._  
Arthur dying, never to be King.   
Camelot falls.   
The land turns to darkness.   
_No, no, no._  
Destiny.   
Two sides of a coin.   
Advisor,   
Sorcerer,   
shield and sword.  
  
You wrench free.   
Slam back into existence.   
Cough.   
Splutter.   
Breathe.   
_Breathe._  
Your body feels heavy,   
wrong.   
Like it no longer fits.  
  
You open your eyes. Arthur stares at you from across the clearing.  
"You came back." He sounds dazed, out of his depth.  
"Yes"  
"Why?" Confused now, like he can't understand why you would want to return.  
You shrug. "It wasn't worth the price," you say. And really it wasn't. You had given up nirvana for Arthur's life. You'd spend an eternity in hell to keep him safe. He is the reason you breathe.  
  
You close you eyes again. Let the magic rush into you.   
Ebb and flow. Wash over as your skin settles in place.   
When you're done you open your eyes and smile, content.   
Arthur stares like he's never seen you before.   
And the truth is, he hasn't. Your no longer Merlin.   
You're Emrys. Magic made flesh. And you exist for Arthur.   
His shield and his sword.   
His  _weapon._


End file.
